I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
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I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
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The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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