i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
