the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
