Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
The power of my boobs compel you
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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