I should be sponsored by Trojan
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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