elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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