turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
