There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
