turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Walk of Shame today included voting.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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