i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize