Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize