i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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