I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
no you cant smoke seaweed
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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