Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
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You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
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the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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