So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
