the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
