I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
