gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i think i have two assholes
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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