shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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