You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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