Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
