I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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