i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
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She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
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My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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