That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
