No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
