Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
