well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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