she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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