every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Even my vagina gasped.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
