My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.