if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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