did you get engaged???
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize