so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
