When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
