Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
