he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize