Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
