I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize