what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
