you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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