He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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