He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
In America we eat man semen.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
