More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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