that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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