Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
