He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
