I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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