I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize