I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I want to fling myself into the sun
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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