Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
