Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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