The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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