i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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