my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
