never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
