She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
