Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
