Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
