This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Randomize
