I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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