whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
