My first STD was from a foam party
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
MIDGETS
????
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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