Duck Duck Cougar?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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